Soccer Parent Lifestyle Magazine

The O'Neal family, from Charleston, South Carolina, comes straight out of central casting of the All-American soccer family. As you will soon see, they are an All-American family, period. We first met Blanton (Father) a few years ago in Tuscaloosa, Alabama at ODP Regional Camp. We met Anne (Mother) a couple years later at a Showcase in Raleigh, North Carolina. They are raising three boys, all avid soccer players, two of them keepers. We got a chance recently to visit with Blanton. Here is the O'Neal family soccer story.

Soccer Parent Lifestyle: What are the ages of your boys? Are all 3 keepers?

Blanton: JB – 17 GK – 04/05 ECNL South Carolina United (Columbia)
Sean – 15 GK – 07 ECNL South Carolina Surf (Charleston)
Ethan – 12 Defender – ‘10 PMSL Charleston Soccer Club

Soccer Parent Lifestyle: What would you say is the hardest thing about being a keeper parent?

Blanton: The most difficult aspect of being a keeper parent is witnessing the psychological toll it takes on your child. As a keeper, they are left on an island many times. They train separately from the team the majority of the season. In games, they warmup (both mentally and physically) separately - sometimes completely on their own. In a match, they typically have seven to ten plays to make a difference, and although everyone remembers the goals conceded, very few remember the amazing save. Keepers are taught to “be like goldfish” and have a short memory, but the reality is, they live and die by every shot taken on them. They remember everything.

As a keeper parent, sitting on that end line, secluded from the rest of the parents- we live and die with every shot as well. Knowing that we will have to pick up the pieces at home from the tough matches and get them mentally prepared for the next, is a challenge. Being a psychology major would be an amazing background for a keeper parent. Being a psychology major and part time bartender would be an amazing background for a parent of two keepers.

Soccer Parent Lifestyle: During a match, how do you keep your emotions in check?

Blanton: I wish I could say that my wife and I had mastered this skill. But the reality is that for many seasons, my emotions ruled my behavior, causing me to be the brunt of many jokes on your FB group - and it was 100% warranted. Since we were former club coaches, we found ourselves so wrapped up in every touch of the ball that sometimes we neglected to watch each of our 3 sons do amazing things on the pitch. As a parent, it’s very difficult to keep your cool when you see your child take a studs up boot to the face. Each night after a match, my GK sons come home to ice, take ibuprofen and simmer in Epsom salt baths. Seeing the bruises, cuts and swellings from the abuse they take makes every collision in a match tough to watch. It causes your parental instincts to take over your rational mind.

So, yes, there have been outbursts of which I am far from proud. Yet, as my sons have entered the recruiting stage of their playing days, I have found solace in the fact that they can now rationally tell me that they are okay and I need not worry. And if I start reverting back to my old self, they can also tell me to shut my mouth from the pitch and I follow that order. The last four seasons (club and HS) I have learned that they can handle what comes with being a goalkeeper. They know what they are doing. They don’t need dad losing his mind on the sideline - it only serves as an unnecessary distraction. So I try to sit back and keep the GoPro rolling for those recruiting videos.
Am I always successful? No. Am I ALWAYS striving to be better? Well, also no. Am I getting better? A resounding YES.

Soccer Parent Lifestyle: If your boys didn’t play soccer, what would you do with the free time?

Blanton: This is a tough one.  Since each boy was born, we have always been over programmers.  Until very recently, my sons not only competed in soccer, but in competition karate nationally.   There have been many times that the boys have finished a soccer match, only to immediately board a plane to fight that evening or the next day.  And at every stop, my wife and I are there.  So if that were all gone, we would probably travel more for pure relaxation – and stare at each other in pure boredom after about day 4.

Soccer Parent Lifestyle: What is one thing you wish parents of “field players” knew about goalkeeping?

Blanton: I don’t think most parents of field players know the amount of time goalkeepers spend training outside team trainings.  Keepers aren’t seen running nearly as much in team training, so, many times, it looks as though they haven’t put in the work & have the easiest job on the pitch. However, what is not seen is the two-hour diving session they had the day before or the one and a half hour session they will complete after practice to work on receiving high balls in traffic. 

A high level goalkeeper spends five to eight hours a week outside of team training working on their craft.  Add in the additional recovery time mentioned above and it is a real commitment, not for the faint of heart.

Soccer Parent Lifestyle: I know you guys do a TON of traveling for soccer, but what do you do as a family away from the pitch?

Blanton: We love to get out on our boat. Living in Charleston, SC, boating is not a pastime, but a way of life. Each of my children first boarded a boat at a mere four weeks old, and it is still the only place where our family can truly unwind and relax. Swimming in the ocean, crabbing in the creeks, pulling up to the beach by boat and tubing the rivers are where we are the happiest. It’s tough to work in the time, however, with multiple ECNL schedules and a state league schedule. But we treasure the times we get out.

Soccer Parent Lifestyle: With 3 boys all playing at different clubs, how do you divide parenting responsibilities with such demanding travel schedules?

Blanton: The division of parenting duties is certainly a question we get asked a lot. “How do you get it all done?” My wife and I both work full-time (Anne with a multinational technology company; Me as a partner in a mid-sized law firm). We would be lying to say that it is not a challenge. The first tool we always mention is our family Google Calendar. Shared by all members of the family, it lists all the practices, games, school events, tests, doctors appointments and travel requirements. Without this calendar, we would be lost.

Second, it takes a lot of flexibility on behalf of everyone. Every morning, my wife and I discuss which parent is handling which action items for the day - it looks like we’re gearing up to launch a military operation! Sure enough, despite our best intentions, those plans blow up several days a week and changes must be made on the fly. Whether it’s a rainout of practice, a mediation going longer than expected, a child needing to stay home to study for a big test, or me forgetting to take the chicken out to thaw, plans change. As parents, we have to be able to adjust and are thankful that the boys adjust as needed without much eye rolling. And when odds are stacked against us (I’m out of town for work, etc.), we also have a tremendous group of friends inside and outside of soccer. They are always willing to help when they see that our “prevent defense” management of the boys is failing miserably and we need to call in the reserves.

Finally, you and your kids have to LOVE this lifestyle to be a part of it. We always say that we aren’t complaining of the hectic nature, but that we signed up for this with our eyes wide open. This is not a passive lifestyle and as mentioned not for the faint of heart. If everyone in the family is not 100% committed, don’t put the family through it. I’m not saying your child shouldn’t play soccer, but there are so many levels of soccer that can keep kids engaged with a love of the sport. Don’t chase the alphabet soup of leagues unless the entire family is “All In”. Even within our own family, my youngest loves soccer, but is not in love with soccer like my oldest two. As such, he plays on a very competitive state league team and has the time of his life. This allows him to pursue his other artistic passions as he is a vocal major at the Charleston School of the Arts. As parents, we have found his multidirectional ambitions are refreshing and give us a chance to step away from the norm and watch something just as amazing as what he does out on the pitch.

Soccer Parent Lifestyle: JB is in the midst of the recruiting process. What are his academic priorities? What are his soccer priorities?

Blanton: JB is entering his Senior year at Academic Magnet, the second ranked high school in the nation. From a very young age, he made it clear that he wanted to pursue an education in engineering. After his sophomore year, he decided that a path of aerospace and/or mechanical engineering was his calling. With that focus, he began the search for high academic schools with his major that also had competitive soccer programs. He quickly learned that the pool of these schools was not extremely large and many are D2 and D3 level in sports.

While JB absolutely wants to play soccer in college, he has no plans to play professionally and as such, the academics are his highest priority. While some D1 schools have shown interest in recruiting him, the majority of the significant coach contact has been at the D2 and D3 levels. What JB has come to realize is that for the lifestyle he is hoping for in college, his focus on academics and his desire to actually play soccer rather than watch soccer from the bench, the D2 and D3 schools are perfect fits for him.

Soccer Parent Lifestyle: What advice would you give to parents of young keepers?

Blanton: Our advice for keeper parents – hand wash gloves with real glove wash or woolite delicate at least after every three sessions. Enjoy the ride; It’s not for the faint of heart, but after every win, loss or draw, your heart will be full – full of the knowledge that they are doing something not everyone can do. Every keeper stares down twenty players on the pitch and mentally diagnose the match for sixty to ninety minutes. And in that one instance, as the striker is streaking down for a 1 v 1, your keeper must make the decision to control the attack or attempt to make a save on the shot. That decision is not an easy one and admittedly one that I could have never made as a young player.

Know that your keeper, just by pulling on the gloves and stepping between the pipes has made a decision to be the foundation for his or her entire team. They are the quarterback on the field with their voice and their actions. They will be emotional basket cases sometimes and you are there to pick up the pieces. But in the end, there is no better place for your young person to learn life lessons than in the net. From leadership to humility, goalkeepers learn it all. Ask how many coaches were once keepers. You will be surprised at the overrepresentation in the coaching ranks.

But most of all, relax and enjoy the game – they’ve got this. Now if we can only follow our own advice…

Soccer Parent Lifestyle: What is your greatest joy being keeper/soccer parents?

Blanton: Our greatest joy in being soccer parents is watching our children do things on the pitch that we could have never dreamed of in our youth. Being able to see them do things athletically that they didn’t even think they could do. And finally, sitting in the car after a match, in complete silence, waiting for them to talk first. Waiting to hear their thoughts on what went right, what went wrong and what new game app they are downloading on their phones at the moment. Never be the first to speak to them following a match. This is a lesson we had to learn the hard way. Be there ready to listen. You will be amazed at what you hear. The greatest joy in sports is knowing you are helping your kids create memories for the future. ENJOY THE RIDE!

If I only knew then as a ⚽️ player what I know now…

Reflecting on the work I‘ve been doing with young soccer players over the last few years now, I can only wish I had this level of guidance and direction when I was playing.

Here is my biggest tip for parents looking to support their young athletes:

Find someone with the knowledge to create a PLAN to help your son/daughter improve as an ATHLETE first. Someone that will assess where they are now and look ahead to the player they want to become. It all starts with a plan.

A plan that: 

• Will address their weak links, refine their strengths & give them the tips to improve their overall athletic development
• Encourages them to MOVE WELL & TRAIN the right way
• Teaches them to take care of their bodies OFF the field & be conscious of the effects of things like sleep, nutrition & hydration on their performance ON it
• Teaches them to LISTEN to their body. To know when to PUSH and when to PULL BACK to avoid INJURY and keep themselves out on the field.
• Most importantly, looks at them as a human as much as an athlete.

Here’s the thing, I have yet to meet a kid who wasn’t playing/training enough. But I have talked to plenty of kids who’ve gotten overlooked due to their size, physicality or strength on the ball. 

It must be said that better athletes make better soccer players, yet the physical preparation side of the game is so often neglected. Don’t continue to make the same mistake. In a time where recruitment is so competitive, every 1% edge can allow a player to stand out at a tryout or during an ID camp. 

And one way of standing out is to put in the work that many other players aren’t willing to.

Hindsight here is a wonderful thing. And while it may sound a little arrogant, I wish I had someone like me when I was a player. As in me the physio/performance coach.

Someone with the knowledge of how to train properly, how to prevent and manage injuries. Someone who would tell me that what I chose to put into my body would affect me out on the field. Or that things like stress, hydration, and sleep could play such critical roles in my performance.

That’s not to say I didn’t work hard when I was playing. I did the whole gym routine. But it was the classic bodybuilding breakdown focusing on high reps/aesthetics rather than on athletic performance.

And what constituted “fitness” was running endlessly on the treadmill or around my neighborhood preparing for our 2-mile fitness test. I didn’t know any better. I didn’t have access to the wealth of knowledge I’ve gathered in my time as a clinician/coach.

If I knew then what I know now, maybe things would have gone different. 

Maybe I would have taken things more seriously, not taken my position for granted and continued with club ball. Maybe all of that would have ended with me playing collegiately like I always dreamed of instead of a university club team.

The good news is, your players don’t have to have the same regrets I have or make the same mistakes I made. And they certainly don’t have to acquire all this knowledge on their own as a player.

I’m here to lend my knowledge and expertise to those players who are looking to get back from injury or elevate their performance on the field.

All it’s going to take is some hard work and a willingness to learn.

Learn more about us by checking out our website https://theathletesedgept.com/.

Born and raised in France, Matt Braem attended the Havre Athletic Club Academy and had a successful career at a young age. After representing his country in the European Qualifier, he faced a serious injury that was threatening his chances of reaching the highest level.
In the Summer of 2013, he packed his bags, and landed at Iowa Western Community College, earning All-American First-Team accolades, before transferring to Loyola University of Chicago on a full scholarship. In the Spring of 2017, he earned two prestigious degrees in Communications and Sport Management.

We recently got a chance to visit with him so he could tell his story of coming to America to chase his soccer dreams.

The Soccer Parent Lifestyle: Growing up in France, did you ever think that you would be playing Professional Soccer in America?

Matt: 1. Definitely not. Growing up while playing at the highest level possible and attending a hugely successful academy such as Le Havre, France, all I was thinking about was playing in the Premier League. That is what my teammates Paul Pogba, Benjamin Mendy, Riyad Mahrez, and others had in their sight too. Clearly some made it. I left my house at 12 years old to chase that dream, and at that point, I was ready to do whatever it took to play professionally.

I think soccer, and life in general, is all about opportunities. Your dreams and goals are the foundations you will be building off of, but ultimately opportunities dictate the directions you will be going. Before I played indoor soccer in the US, I played in India for a few months. If you told me growing up that I would play in India, I would have called you crazy.

The Soccer Parent Lifestyle: When did you decide you wanted to play in America?

Matt: When my contract expired with my club after I turned 18, I had a long run of bad luck. A couple bad hamstring injuries later, our first team coach was fired, and the new manager in charge did not believe in me as much. I was faced with a choice: stay and hope to get promoted to the first team, or leave and look for a new club.

I did the latter. I went to a few tryouts but because of my history of injuries concerning onlooking clubs, nothing really evolved the way I wanted.

My agent at the time mentioned coming over to the US to play college and continue my education. It sounded like it was a golden opportunity for me, so I ran with it.

After graduating college, a few too many USL tryouts and more Visa issues, I ended up signing a five-year contract in the Major Arena Soccer League in 2019

The Soccer Parent Lifestyle: How did you get recruited to play in college here? Did you initiate the process, or were you “discovered” by an American coach?

Matt: My situation was a little different than your typical American high school player because I had a decently high profile coming out of the academy. A couple of caps for the French National Team in the U15 European Qualifiers did not hurt me either.

Ultimately, I initiated the process. My agent helped me in the beginning with setting up my online profile but from there I did most of the recruiting process on my own. I hardly spoke any English at the time so there was a lot of back and forth emailing and even more google translating…

Before deciding on committing to Iowa Western Community College, I convinced the Eastern Tennessee State University head coach to fly all the way to France to come watch me play for a week. At the end of the week, he offered me a full-scholarship as we were eating pizza in my parents’ living-room. Remember that bad luck streak I talked about? Thanks to my extremely poor proficiency level in English on the TOEFL exam, I had to pass on the opportunity because the NCAA DI deemed me, ineligible.

The Soccer Parent Lifestyle: How difficult was the transition?

Matt: The transition was actually not that difficult because I landed in an incredible program with an even better group of people. They made me feel at home right away, despite being farther away from everything and everyone I knew than I had ever been before. My first semester was spent acclimating to a completely new language. It might surprise you, but there aren’t that many French speaking individuals in the rural Midwest. This new group of people and I would eventually experience huge success on the field and win the national championship in the Fall. I was extremely lucky to land where I landed. Hence why people within the recruiting industry love to use the “broken leg” idea. Soccer is just a small part of your college experience.

The Soccer Parent Lifestyle: What are some of the differences between European Youth Soccer and American Youth Soccer?

Matt: I’ve been asked this question a lot, and I have two main answers:

The biggest difference is the way soccer is “commercialized” in the US. It blows my mind how expensive the sport is for the little amount of resources that clubs provide you and their lack of knowledgeable coaches.

Back home, soccer is the most accessible sport. All you need is a ball and a goal. Growing up my parents didn’t have a lot of money, so my friends and I would play non-stop in the street or a parking lot. We used two shoes to make a goal and played with a worn-out soccer ball.

Another difference is technical ability. In the US, there is a strong emphasis on fitness, running, and physical abilities. The NCAA illustrates it perfectly with their Spring semester training format, limiting teams to a certain amount of actual ball work each week. I find it completely absurd.

Back home, there is much more focus on ball control. Sometimes I remind my U11/12 kids that in Europe, they would be expected to juggle the ball 200 times without dropping it. Easy.

Perhaps the reason why coaches here focus so much on running and physical abilities, is to distract from their lack of knowledge on how to actually teach kids good ball control.

The Soccer Parent Lifestyle: How did you choose your original school in America?

Matt: I touched on this a bit earlier but I did not really “choose” my first school. I didn’t exactly have a rural Iowa community college in mind when I thought of playing soccer in the states. Not a glamorous sounding opportunity. But it just kind of worked itself out. A player that I played against for years growing up back in France was at Iowa Western the year prior. I reached out to him and picked his brain to see what the program was like.

Needless to say, he convinced me that this opportunity would be a great one and he was 100% right.

Going to Iowa Western was honestly the best decision I had ever made. Who would have thought that a school in the middle of Iowa would be the place where I would meet the most incredible people? People that still have my back to this day.

In my course, I explain that the whole “DⅠ or nothing” idea is a myth. Stay open minded when picking a school!

The Soccer Parent Lifestyle: How did you get recruited to transfer to a D1 school?

Matt: I was recruited to go and play DⅠ the same way everyone else does: I emailed coaches, visited schools, met with the coaches, sold myself, and negotiated the best offer possible. My parents could not help me with tuition and I had no desire to take on any student debt, so not getting a full ride was a deal breaker. This limited my options.

The funny thing is, despite winning a National Championship and earning First Team All-American accolades, I still had to go through the same process a high-school player would.

I dive deeper into my story in my course, where I share other schools I visited and why I did not decide on their programs (full-rides offered).

The Soccer Parent Lifestyle: What is a typical in-season day like for a professional indoor soccer player?

Matt: The indoor season is pretty short (we start in November and end in April), which is also what makes it an intense schedule. We play 24 games in that time period with pretty much back to back games every weekend. Add cross country traveling, snoring hotel roommates, daily practice, and you get an idea of how exhausting the season is! And it seems as soon as you return home, it’s back to the grind, and you are prepping for the next game in just a few days.

We train every day for a couple hours, then I usually head to the gym afterwards for a light workout or slow regeneration session to make sure I stay healthy over the course of the season.

On top of that, I coach two club teams and run my private training business. Despite the chaotic schedule, I love the balance between playing and coaching.

The Soccer Parent Lifestyle: Why indoor soccer?

Matt: Once again… opportunity. When I returned from playing in India, I had issues with my Visa expiring. I was desperate to find a club who trusted me and would be willing to invest in me. A former coach of mine knew the Harrisburg Heat coach and told me to go try it out.

I went to the open tryout and instantly fell in love with the game. It was fast paced, required a strong soccer IQ, and demanded extremely precise technical ability. Which just so happened to be all of the things I would describe as my strengths as a player; a former center-back who loves to play on the ground and get forward.

The coach was interested in my profile, invited me to their preseason, and eventually offered me a deal.

The Soccer Parent Lifestyle: How does your unique recruiting experience help others going through the process?

Matt: I think my experience is unique in the sense that I did it on my own with little to no knowledge of the recruiting process and without knowing English. My experience shows that you do not need to be a star coming out of high school or pay thousands of dollars on a fancy recruiting service like NCSA. All you need is to put the work in, put yourself out there, market yourself, and know how to convince coaches that YOU are the one they need. And I successfully got the full-ride, not once, but twice!

After hearing so many parents and clients talk about their disappointment and confusion with the recruiting system, I made The College Recruiting Guide. I wanted to help kids out of high school who are feeling lost and overwhelmed, maybe having people in their ear telling them that they aren’t good enough to play at the next level.

I am here to say, sure you can! If you want it badly enough and are willing to put in the work, it is surely in the realm of possible.

I have now had hundreds of players go through my course and the method has been proven to work for those who really invested themselves and believed in my teaching.

I think what makes the course so special is that I am extremely open and honest about what I did well and wrong through my personal journey. I am not afraid to break myths and misconceptions, describing them as they truly are. I lived the recruiting process as a player, as a coach who offered those scholarships to players, and as a mentor who now helps players through their process. I love being able to help using all three points of view!

The Soccer Parent Lifestyle: Playing wise, my contract with the Heat will be ending at the end of this season so the plan is to enter free agency and see from there. I would love to keep playing for a couple more years so we will see what happens next Summer.

Off the pitch I am going to keep growing Frenchy Elite Football, my private coaching company, as well as The College Recruiting Guide. I love being able to share my playing experience and knowledge of the game with the next generation of ballers. I feel so lucky to get to do what I love everyday.

I am super excited for what’s to come, so stay tuned!

If you are looking for help in your college recruiting journey, make sure to head The College Recruiting Guide and join “The Complete Guide to College Soccer Recruiting” Facebook group for free advice

Meet A Contributor

Rob Aigner

Rob Aigner loves all sports.

 Growing up in Portland, Oregon Rob competed in multitude of athletic endeavors.  He was most accomplished as an alpine ski racer, winning the Oregon Youth Alpine Championship in 1978 and going on to be nationally ranked in giant slalom.  He attended the Mission Ridge Ski Academy and was sponsored by Elan and Solomon. 

 Rob was also a varsity wrestler, tennis player and yes soccer player.  In fact, Wilson High School was the Oregon High School state runner up his senior year.  Many of his teammates went on to play at the collegiate level (two turned professional) while Rob further pursued his ski racing dreams.

 Rob graduated from the University of Oregon with a degree in Journalism and attended NYU to do graduate work in Psychology.  While in New York, Rob worked in the advertising and publishing fields for several top advertising agencies and magazines.  He ultimately ended up at Rolling Stone magazine where he was an advertising executive for over 8 years.

 In the early 2000’s Rob made a career pivot and entered the real estate industry.  20 years later he is an owner and investor in seven Keller Williams Realty franchises throughout California that cater to over 1,500 real estate professionals.  He also operates several ancillary businesses (insurance brokerage, escrow, etc.) and actively invests in real estate.

 Rob has been married for 23 years to his lovely wife Sharon (a speech pathologist) and has two sons, Jake 19, and Micah 15.  Jake plays soccer at the University of Puget Sound in Washington state and is currently a sophomore studying business.  Micah is well on his way to playing in college while currently playing academy soccer in Los Angeles as a high school sophomore.

 Aside from Rob’s love of sports and high school soccer experience,  he has become an important fixture in the youth soccer community in Southern California.  He has been on the board of directors for Total Futbol Academy for 9 years  (one of the premiere MLS Next Clubs in Los Angeles) helping with fund raising, community outreach and gain media exposure..  He has also worked with the US Soccer Foundation to bring more community awareness to the benefits of playing soccer .  He holds a US Soccer D license and has coached countless youth soccer matches as a first assistant, helped clubs with scouting opposition as well as finding talented players.   

 Rob writes about soccer for his local town newspaper and is thrilled to be a contributor to Soccer Parent Lifestyle magazine and put his Journalistic background to good use.